Speed
by Clandestine Abyss
Summary: AU .We all crave it. The rush, the feeling of being invincible, of euphoria. You know, like superman. To people that see me walking down the street, I’m just a demon come from a broken home. But with speed, I feel human again, just like one of the guys.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto because i'm poor

AN- I shall make this terse and to the point. This is my first real fanfiction and **any** feedback is welcome. I hope you enjoy my story and the future chapters will be longer.

'blah' are thoughts

"blah" is dialouge

**Dedicated to my boyfriend Raytion**

XxX

_We all crave it. The rush, the feeling of being invincible, of euphoria. You know, like superman. To people that see me walking down the street, I'm just a demon come from a broken home_. _But with speed, I feel human again, just like one of the guys._

The rain drops pounded on his already sensitive head. Intensifying 10fold due to the hangover brought about from earlier that day. His vision blurred. He had to get home soon and fast. There was no way that he was gonna pass out on the streets again.He groped the wall in an attempt to steady himself. After a minute or two of standing there, he continued his futile journey.People were whispering and pointing towards him but right now he could honestly care less.

The pain in his head continued to grow."Kami, please let me make it" he said to himself.

There was a vibration in his pocket.'Not now' he thought but answered none the less.

"Hello?"

"I-I need your help, please c-come see me. I-I need you" The voice screeched his ear. The boy touched his head and frowned.

"Can you speak lower? "

"O-okay"

He sighed "What's your problem?"

"I can't tell you over the phone"She said regaining her composure

"You're acting as if you killed someone" The boy joked. When the girl didn't answer the boy stopped dead in his tracks.

"You...how...why?"

"I don't know, it was an accident"

"I would hope so" Said the now shaking boy. "Anyway, I can't help you right now. Sorry but I, I have my own problems to deal with"

"I have to go" The female voice cried.

"Goodbye"

The boy hung up and continued walking through the storm.'It's getting cold'

As his senses dulled so did his awareness of his surroundings. The boy narrowly escaped 2 cars, 3 cyclists and one very angry mom. Too bad for him that his luck had already run out .

**BAM!**

His whole life passed before his eyes. He couldn't feel anything. Was he dead? The boy didn't know.'Maybe this is for the best' Was the last thing he thought before he blacked out.

Japanese Translations

Kami-God

Kuso-Shit


	2. Wake Up Calls

Uzumaki Naruto eyes slowly opened to the sound of his blatantly annoying alarm. He lazily presses the snooze button only to be awoken again by his cellphone.

"Shimata!" Naruto yelled in defeat

He picked up his cellphone. The disruption of his beauty sleep was a text from Kiba which read _"_Get _up"_. Naruto mumbled profanities under his breath and very slowly got out of bed. Everyday for the past 10 years Naruto would wake up at 6:45, go back to sleep, get woken again at 6:59, curse under his breath, eat breakfast, realize that he's late and then run to school. This day was no different...

Naruto was finishing off his breakfast(if you call ramen breakfast) when he actually looked at the clock.

"Kuso, I'm gonna be late!"

He darted to his room and quickly put on his school uniform, a white collared shirt, grey socks with chibi ramen on them, a grey tie and a black blazer and pants. Naruto surveyed his room.

'I know I'm forgetting something, my schoolbag!'.Naruto picked up his schoolbag which was convinetnly placed on his dresser and left for school.

"You're late" Said Kakashi-sensei, his phys-ed teacher.

Naruto caught his breath and glared at his teacher.

"Like you should talk, you got to the class the same time as me!"

"But you're forgetting one thing Naruto" Said Kakashi momentarily glancing from his Icha Icha book to look Naruto in the eyes.

"What?"

"I'm the teacher"

XxX

Hinata tossed and turned in her bed. She wasn't even bothering to try and go to sleep anymore. Oh no, the thing that plagued the Hyuga right now was finding a comfortable position. She rolled in her bed one more time when Neji let himself in.

"You've got 1 hour. If you're not downstairs by then, I'm leaving without you." He stated while closing Hinata's door.

"You could at least knock!" She said to the door.

Hinata yawned and got out of bed. Slipping into her slippers she went to her adjoining bathroom and took a quick shower. Glancing at the clock she saw that she had 37 minutes left. Hinata opened her closet and took out her pre-ironed uniform. Without delay she put on the uniform and brushed her hair into that infamous bob cut. Hinata wasn't the type of girl to put on make-up but today was different. She was trying to impress a certain blonde idiot. Unsure of which make-up to put on, she resorted to inie-minie-minny-mo and choose purple eyeliner, pale foundation, cherry blush, silver eye shadow and pink lip-gloss. After checking her schedule, Hinata was certain that she left nothing undone and decended downstairs with a minute to spare.

"You're lucky" Said Neji as he reluctantly opened the car door for her.

"I know" Hinata smiled

XxX

Kiba felt something warm and slimy on his hand. An alien, no ,just his dog Akamaru. Kiba shuffled out of bed, slipping on a sock and falling flat on his ass. Akamaru barked.

"I'm sure you think this is funny" Kiba said as he scratched his butt..

Kiba got up and went to the bathroom. He knocked on the closed door one, no reply. Twice, silence. Again, nothing. After giving up Kiba finally yelled "Get out of the bathroom. No matter how long you take, it still won't change the fact that you're a fugly prude!"

The bathroom door slowly opened revealing his Dad. Kiba laughed nervously.

"I'm a fugly prude, all right. No allowance for a month."

"But-" Kiba was stopped by his Dad's say-one-more-word-and-you're-dead-look.

.

Kiba rentered his room and picked up his cellphone. He sent Naruto a wake up call and

reluctantly made his way to the fridge much to his sister's delight.

"You called otousan a fugly prude, baka"

"At least I'm not a hime" Kiba smiled

"You're right because I'm gonna kill you before you get the chance"

"Bring it on"

XxX

Eyes opened to reveal a pair of hypnotizing black orbs. He clapped to turn on his lights. Washing over the black walls to metamorph into white walls with the Uchiha symbol paint on the wall he was currently looking at. Uchiha Sasuke was definitely **not **a morning person. The Uchiha exited his bed and studied his reflection in a nearby mirror.

'Sexy as always' He smirked

Sasuke opened a jar on his dresser and began to massage the contents(gel) into his hair to give him that birds ass look that so many fan girls admired. Deeming his hair acceptable, he then went to his chair and put on the uniform placed there the night before. He then went over to a mantle a grabbed his most prized possession, his hall monitor sash

Sasuke made his way to the kitchen only to be greeted by silence. But what else was he expect since he lived in that big mansion all alone. Preparing some miso soup he quickly ate and packed his bento box for lunch. He looked at his watch 7:25.

"Better leave for school" He said out loud

XxX

Shino was awoken by the sounds of thumping against his bedroom window. He put on his glasses and nodded to the bugs in appreciation and dismissal. He cautiously made his way to the bathroom and took a hot shower.

"'Morning " He said to the bugs following his every movement

The Aburame prodigy opened a packet of dragon rolls and emptied their contents into his stomach. He belched.

"Excuse me"

Shino made his way back to his room and put on his school uniform. He walked to the mirror and nodded in appreciation. Deeming himself acceptable he made his way to Ho Shindou High School.

Japanese Translations 

Hime-bitch

Otousan-Dad

Baka-idiot


	3. The usual suspects

**AN: **Thank for reading my story! I promise to finish no matter how many review I do(or don't) get.And arigotou to _summer.kiss_for putting this fanfic on story alerts!!

**This chapter is dedicated to my departed grandmother**

XxX

The day was bright and beautiful. The birds were chirping sweet symphony's. This was definitely a day you wouldn't want to spend inside. But unfortunately for the staff and students of Ho Shindou High School, they were stuck inside for 8 more torterous hours.

Naruto pounded his head on the desk. Homeroom hadn't even ended ,yet he felt more restless than ever, blame it on his ADHD. Kiba, his best friend placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him an I-don't-want-to-be-here-either smile. Naruto shrugged off his hand and resumed hitting his head on the desk. Kiba sucked his teeth and went over to the table where his non-naruto friends sat. A person sidled over the the nearly empty table and sat down in the unoccupied seat next to Naruto.

"Y-you could lose b-brain cells doing that" Said a stuttering Hinata.

Naruto looked up at Hinata and smiled "You're here early"

Hinata blushed. Even though they had been going out for a month, Hinata still occasionally blushed and stuttered around the blonde.

"Ano...I wanted to speak you"

" 'bout what?" Asked Naruto

Hinata opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of the bell signaling first period ringing.

"I'll tell you later" Said Hinata as she kissed Naruto and hurried off to Iruka-sensei's Art class.

XxX

It was midday. Sasuke was patrolling the hallways during the lunch break , vice time. Kids sneered as Sasuke adjusted his famed hall monitor sash. He shot them all dirty looks, causing all sneering to cease.

'Works every time' Thought a very pompous Sasuke

Out of the corner of his eye Sasuke glimpsed a blonde and a brunette idiot running away from the staff bathroom with smiles plastered on their faces. A green musk engulfed the air. Sasuke being the bonafide hall monitor he is ,had to investigate the potential crime scene.

"Kami it stinks"Said Sasuke as he scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"Is-is anyone out there!?" Said a voice from inside the bathroom

"Yes".

Even though he had no clue who it was. Sasuke couldn't help but feel sorry for the teacher that was stuck in the bathroom with all the muck.

"Two boys set off a dozen stink bombs, I-I tried to stop them but they overpowered me and locked me in this stall"

"Are you decent "asked Sasuke, with very disturbing images of the teacher with her pants down flashing through his mind.

"Of course"

Very reluctantly, Sasuke entered the rancid abyss once known as the staff bathroom. He looked around the bathroom, his eyes landing on the only stall with a closed door.

"I'm coming sensei. I just have to...break a padlock..." Sasuke trailed off

"Oh dear, and I'm already late for class"

"Don't worry, I will get the janitor"

"Thank you!"

Sasuke turned and walked torwards the door. Until he saw his reflection in the mirror. He smirked

'Uchiha, you sexy beast'

While waiting for the janitor to open the padlock. Sasuke pondered the culprits of this latest crime.

'Hmm... Tamiki doesn't like Manori-sensei but he has red hair. Think Sasuke think, blonde hair and brown hair. What two 'geniuses' would pull a dumbass prank like this with blonde or brown hair '

A lightbulb turned on over Sasuke's head "Uzumaki and Inuzuka"

XxX

Kiba, Ino, Shino, Sakura and Shikamaru were all sitting in the back of their History class. All crammed at one table. Everything would of been fine if it hadn't been for the fact that everyone just had to have a seat to put their feet up. Thus the bickering commenced.

"Ino-pig, get your humongous feet off of my chair!" Yelled Sakura

"Maybe you need another chair for that big forehead of yours but you're not taking mine!"yelled Ino as she grabbed the chair from under Sakura's feet.

"Teme" Smiled Sakura

"Only yours"

Sakura and Ino then started gazing lovingly into each others eyes. Both resisting the urge to make-out in the middle of class. While their battle was over another had just begun. Kiba kept on stealing glances at Shino. Shino was currently staring at Kiba, without even making an effort to hide it.

"Dude, why do you keep on staring at me?" asked Kiba after he couldn't take Shino's unrelented staring anymore.

Shino just kept on staring at Kiba. Kiba turned his head to Shikamaru, not anticipating an answer from Shino. When a low and stoic voice spoke "Because you have beautiful eyes... and you have something on your chin"

Kiba quickly wiped his chin ,hoping that no one would notice.

"It's still there," said Shino

Kiba wiped at his chin again "Shut up"

"But it's still there, what were you doing this morning?"

Everyone's mouth dropped to the floor. They had never heard Shino say so much to anyone. Thanks to that distraction no one noticed Kiba getting beet red in the face.

Kiba wiped his chin one final time "I was with my girlfriend" Muttered Kiba.

"You have a girlfriend, how troublesome. "Stated Shikamaru, speaking for the first time that day.

Japanese Translations

Ano- Well

Sensei- Teacher

Kami- God


	4. Clubs, clubs, clubs

**AN- **To Akiho Tonoshi, Thanks, I would consider it a teaser for the story

**This chapter is dedicated to my readers**

XxX

Naruto awoke with a start. Someone had just threw a... live fish at him. Naruto immediately jumped up from his desk, startling the fish and causing black ink to shoot from it's mouth. Turns out the live fish was an squid. And unfortunately for Naruto the black ink landed his homework.

Laughter erupted from the small crowd that had formed . The most prominent of these laughing figures was Kiba.

"You bastard, the one time I actually do my homework you ruin it. There's no way Asuma-sensei will believe that a live squid got all inky on my paper!"

"That's what you get for falling asleep during home ec.." Said a very lazy voice

"Shut up Shikamaru. I don't need to pay attention as long as I have a girlfriend"

"In case you haven't noticed, Hinata isn't exactly the best cook either" Said Ino gesturing torwards the chaos going on at the other side of the classroom. Hinata was currently spraying a fire extinguisher on her second failed attempt at clalifornia rolls.While the home ec. teacher, Renko-sensei cried in a corner.

"How do you set California rolls on fire?" Asked a bewildered Choji

"What a d-"

Naruto interrupted Shikamaru "For Kami's sake, will someone get this stupid squid off of me!"

Everyone's attention turned back to Naruto. The squid was currently making it's way up Naruto's chest, leaving a trail ink on his uniform. "He was currently being violated by the horny squid" in Naruto's words. Once again the crowd roared with laughter.

"Looks like Hinata has competition" Joked Kiba

"Looks like you want a black eye"

"Am I supposed to be scared, Uzumaki?"

"I dunno, why don't you ask my fist?"

Before any punches could be thrown the bell rang. Students lingered around hoping to see a fight but left when they realized none was happening any time soon.

"Catch you later" Said Naruto to Kiba

"Later"

Naruto and Kiba exited, leaving Sakura, Ino and Choji confused.

"They were about to fight but when the bell rings they act as if nothing happened. I don't get them" Stated Sakura

"Who does" Said Ino

Choji started munching on his bag of BBQ chips and nodded.

XxX

Hinata along with the rest of her Phs Ed. class were waiting for their tardy teacher to arrive. Hinata was contemplating what lame excuse her sensei would use today.

'Maybe he'll say he had to catch a stray zebra or maybe he'll say that he was abducted by fangirls-"

Hinata's thoughts were cut short by someone snaking their arm around her waist. She turned her head and was face to face with cold black eyes.

"It's been a long time, Hinata"

"Yeah... it has, Sasuke"

"I wanted to-"

Sasuke was cut off by an audible pop. Kakashi-sensei had just emerged from a dissolving cloud of smoke. Sasuke's grip loosened and Hinata practically jumped out of his reach.

"Gym is starting, i'd better go." And with that, Hinata hurried up to Ino and Sakura.

"What did he want?" Asked a concerned Ino

"I don't know"

"Was he hitting on you?" Asked Sakura, a vein pulsing on her head

"Sort of"

"Should we kick his ass?"

"If you want." Hinata smiled.

XxX

Sasuke Uchiha was pacing back and forth in the study hall. The Uchiha was definitely not a happy camper right now. If it hadn't of been for that blonde and his stupid friends Hinata would have been his right now. You see Hinata and Sasuke used to go out but about two months ago Naruto caught Sasuke cheating and told Hinata. Push come to shove Hinata broke up with Sasuke and started going out with Naruto a moth later. But anyway right now the one thing on Sasuke's mind was revenge. He had to get the dobe back but how was the real question.

'I got it. Get Inuzuka and Uzumaki suspened for the infamous Staff Bathroom Bombing. Now all I have to do is put this plan into action'

A malevolant smile manifested on Sasuke's face. A first year who was staring at him immediately turned away and then ran.

'This is a solo job, though it would be better with help. There were no trustworthy people at Ho Shindou High.' Thought Sasuke

'Should I tell Tsunade-sama right now or maybe I should toy with the blonde first. A very tough decision'

Sasuke started walking, his destination a mystery to everyone but him. Sasuke stopped at an ornate brown wooden door. He meagerly knocked on the door.

"Come in"

Sasuke opened the door, revealing a very strange site. Tsunade-sama, principle of Ho Shindou High was actually doing her work. Usually she would pile on all the work on her poor assistant Shizune.

'Something must be up' Thought Sasuke

"Yes Mr.Uchiha"

"I wanted to tell you something"

"About what"

"The staff bathroom bombing incident"

Tsunade slammed her fists on the desk causing it to break in half "Sorry, but do you know who did it!?"

Sasuke sadistically smiled and nodded.

"Who?" Asked Tsunade

"Uzumaki Naruto and Inuzuka Kiba"

Tsunade's smile faltered "Thank you, you are dismissed"

XxX

Naruto was in the middle of track practice yet he was already out of breath and tired. Could things get worse?

"Maybe I should lay back on the ramen" Naruto said as he patted his stomach.

A third year that Naruto never talked to approached him.

"Or maybe you try some of this" said Haru as he handed Naruto a seemingly harmless pill.

Naruto took the pill from him and examined it. "What is it?"

"I'll tell you after you try it" Haru smiled.

Naruto smiled back at him "Okay"

The day that started out as one of Naruto's worst practices turned into the best one of all his life. Naruto had more energy to run, more concentration on the track and more motivation to be number one. At the end of practice, the whole team congratulated him even that hime Keiko. Naruto felt as if he was going to explode with happiness. Maybe that's why he sung(out loud) Waiting by Green Day in the showers. Naruto headed over to Haru after he was done dressing.

"What is it?" Asked Naruto cherfully

"It's Speed" Said Haru, his grin growing wider "And if you ever want more just ask, but next time it'll cost you"

Japanese Translations:

Kami- God

Dobe- Dumbass

Hime- Bitch (honorific)Princess

**Next chapter:School Rumble , where the action begins**


	5. School Rumble

Chapter 5: _School Rumble_

AN- This is where the plot and action begin, enjoy.

This chapter is dedicated to regents!

XxX

A Dodge Caravan pulled up into Ho Shindou's school parking lot. Out of it emerged a cluster of masked figures. The wanna be criminals all looked around waiting for orders. All was silent except for the sound of someone's watch ticking until a boy spoke.

"You guys ready for this?" asked a tall boy dressed in an all black attire

A smaller ,more intimidating boy nodded

"Yeah" said the only female

The rest of the group nodded in unison.

"Okay, Temari you make sure the coast is clear. Gaara you come with me. The rest of you get the materials from the car and bring it to me"

" Hai" all except Gaara said in unison

Gaara and Kankuro stated walking to the entrance of the other went to their assigned jobs. Kankuro not being fond of silence , tried to strike up small conversation.

"Er...why are we doing this again?" asked Kankuro

"Because." Gaara stated

"Because?"

"..." And that was the end of their conversation

The four boys carrying the materials returned and placed the paint in front of them.

"Anything else?" Asked one of the boys.

"No, go wait in the car" Said Kankuro

"Hai" They said in unison.

The boys bowed then walked away. Gaara began mixing the paints.

"You do the outline and I'll paint it" Said Gaara

Kankuro nodded and began sketching on the wall that formally had the Ho Shindou symbol on it.

When he was done, he alerted Gaara. Then Gaara took over and painted the mural.

"I'm done"

"Good, we can go"

"No" Stated Gaara

"Why not?"

"That" Gaara pointed to the Konoha country flag

Kankuro smiled halfheartedly "You want us to replace their flag with the Suna flag "

Gaara nodded. Kankuro sighed.

"Who's gonna do it?"

"He is" Gaara pointed to boy on the roof, fiddling with the Konoha flag.

"I knew we were missing one of them!"

XxX

The next day, there was a great uproar at Ho Shinhdou high. Some students from Setsuna High, their rivals had painted over the Ho Shindou school symbol with a mural of the Ho Shindou students serving the Setsuna students iced tea. What the fuck was everyone's reaction except for a certain blonde and brunette.

"We have to get them back" Naruto said

"Agreed"

"What's the plan?"

"You round up as much people as you can and meet me at Setsuna High 11 o clock tonight, ok" Kiba said

"Okay"

Later that night

Kiba stood under a stand post light waiting for the others to show. He checked his watch for the fifteenth time that night.

'11:08 and they still aren't here'

Kiba started heading for his car when a car that came out of nowhere nearly ran him over. The car parked a few feet away and five people emerged from the car. One visibly scratching his head stepped into the light, it was Naruto.

"Why are you late?"

"You try fitting six people in a four seat car!" Exclaimed Naruto

"But there's only five of you"

Naruto whispered into Kiba's ear "Choji counts as two people"

"You bastard" Kiba laughed

Another figure stepped out of the shadows "Let us start before our youth is over!"

"Okay...Will the rest of you step out of the shadows!"

"What a drag" Shikamaru said lazily

"If it's such a drag then why did you come?" Hinata asked

"How troublesome women are..."

"Where's the food?" Asked Choji

"There is none" Said Kiba

"Then can I leave?"

"NO!"

"Like Rock Lee said, can't we begin this already" Shino asked, while smiling at Kiba

Kiba shuddered "Okay here's the plan, Shino you're the lookout And the rest of you can help me and Naruto paint."

"But that's not very original" Hinata said

"You'll see" Naruto grinned

By the time they were finished painting they had turned Setsuna from the most boring school in history to the most queerest school in history.

"We will go down in history as youth vigilantes" Rock Lee Said

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"I'll take Choji and Rock Lee home since Naruto's car isn't working out for 6 people, I mean 5 people" Kiba said

"Okay, see you later"

"Later"

XxX

The students of Ho Shindou High were outside, lounging around before homeroom began. To them, today was just another boring day wasted in school. Little did they know that the students from Setsuna high had something else in store for them. At first it was only a handful of brave Setsuna students but then there were 20, then 70, then 140 and finally 1409 angry Setsuna students.

"Why are you uke's here!?" Yelled a Ho Shindou third year

"Because you fags painted our school pink!"

The Konoha side of the lot roared with laughter while the Suna side got angrier. That's when pandemonium broke loose. A Suna kid broke the barrier and did an uppercut on an unsuspecting Ho Shindou student. And the infamous school rumble began...

Naruto searched desperately for Hinata. If she got hurt he wouldn't forgive himself, or the perpetrator. Naruto glanced around the crowd again, narrowly missing a kick when he saw her dodging two girls attacks. Suprisingly she was holding her ground.

"Hinata-!" Was all Naruto got out before someone kicked him from behind. Naruto turned around and saw Sasuke grinning at him.

"We're on the same side you dumb fuck!" Yelled Naruto

"You dobe, we were never on the same side" Said Sasuke as he threw a punch at Naruto, who dodged it. In retaliation Naruto faked a left punch and then threw a right while Sasuke was off guard, giving him a bloody nose.

"You little shit" Said Sasuke as he charged torwards the laughing Naruto who dodged the failed attack.

"You can do better than that , Sasugay" Naruto joked

"I told you to never speak of that again!" Sasuke threw another punch at Naruto that landed on his chest.

"Ow, that hurt" said Naruto sarcastically "It's not my fault you cheated on the best thing you ever had with one of those Suna boys"

Sasuke blushed " You better check on your little whore" Said Sasuke as he dissapeared into the mob.

Naruto turned around and saw a girl punching Hinata while the other one held Hinata so she couldn't defend herself or get away. Without hesitation he ran to the girls. Taken aback by the sudden intrusion the girl lost her grip on Hinata. The newly freed Hinata round house kicked the girl that was holding her and then did gentle fists, K.O. The other girl got scared and started to run away when Naruto grabbed her.

"Not so fast" He said

Naruto nodded at Hinata and she repeated the assault on her other captor.

"We should go" Hinata said

Naruto nodded in agreement and cleared a path for Hinata to walk through to safety. When out of the chaos, Naruto and Hinata laughed.

"We're sick, aren't we?" Asked Hinata

"No, it's just funny how they started all of this shit, then get their asses kicked by us "

"Oh really, Uzumaki. I guess i'll just have to teach you a lesson myself then. " Stated a very stoic Gaara

"Oh shit" Were the last words Naruto said before the fight began

-----------

Japanese Translations:

Hai- Yes

Uke- Bottom during gay sex

Dobe- Dumbass


	6. Close Encounters

Close Encounters

**This chapter is dedicated to you.**

XxX

"Oh shit!" Said Naruto doing a backflip into safety. A fist made out of sand had just narrowly missed him. The sand retreated back to it's owner Gaara.

"H-how are controlling sand?" Naruto asked

"I'm not. Haven't you ever heard of water mixed with sand. It tricks your oppenent into thinking you control sand and it has a nice hit, baka"

"How come I never saw anyone else use it?" Naruto asked, trying to distract Gaara (it worked).

"Intelligence. All of us posses it but few know how to use it"

"Are you insulting me?"

Gaara attempted a smirk(but failed) "My, my Naruto-kun, you're catching on fast."

While Naruto was fuming from the insults he didn't notice Gaara pouring more sand-water out of his gourge and aiming for Naruto's head. Just as the sand-water was about to make contact with Naruto's skull Naruto's finally noticed but it was to late. The damage had been done and now he was laying with a bleeding head unconscious on the floor.

"Now that the little imp is gone, let's have a real fight"

Hinata shook her head " I don't want to fight you"

"Then I guess I'll have to force you" Gaara got more sand-water out of his gorge but nothing let out a sigh of relief, immediately choking on it once she looked back at was engulfing his whole body, covering him like some sort of protective shell. Hinata would of thought that this was cool if the circumstances had been different and if Gaara didn't have that deranged look on his face.

' Naruto please wake up!' Thought Hinata frantically.

"Aaah!"

Hinata and Gaara turned , trying to locate the source of this noise.

"Aaaaaahh!" The noise was getting louder and **way** more annoying. There could only be one person....

"Naruto" They said in unison

An army of blonde haired idiots(an illusion) was moving towards the battlefield. Each one of them were carrying a different item. One was even armed with spoiled milk. Gaara laughed but can you blame him, who wouldn't.

"Another pathetic attempt by Uzumaki to gain attention"

At this remark, the clones pounced on Gaara. There were 100 pops and a loud groan. The illusion had been broken. No one was hurt except for Naruto, who was now nursing his bleeding hand.

"So, I guess taijutsu is out of the question when fighting you" said Naruto

"Stop stalling."Said Gaara tersely.

Naruto opened his mouth to reply but was silenced by Gaara's jutsu, _Suna Shuriken_ .

10 shurikens emerged from Gaara's hand and then were launched at Naruto.

" Kawarimi no Jutsu " Said shuriken had hit their target but instead of moans of pain there was a loud pop, Naruto had switched places with a nearby log(illusion).

"You want a real fight" Naruto smiled "Then bring it"

XxX

The mob was quickly dissipating due to the growing presence of school officials and police. Currently Sakura, Choji, Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba , Shino, Tenten and Rock Lee were searching for Naruto and Hinata.

"You think they got arrested?" Tenten asked

"Nah, Naruto's too slick for that" Said Kiba 'At least I hope'

"Where's the food" Asked Choji digressing from the current topic

"There is none!" Ino exclaimed

"Then can I leave?"

"NO!" Yelled Sakura and Ino

"How troublesome" Sighed Shikamaru

"Look, the faster we find Naruto and Hinata, the faster you can eat(Choji), the faster you can watch clouds(Shikamaru),the faster you two can make out(Sakura and Ino) ,the faster you can spread your youthfulness(Rock Lee), the faster you can do whatever you do(Tenten) and the faster you can stop staring at me(Shino)."

"But who can resist staring at you" Shino stated

"Okay, ignoring that comment. Do we have any leads?" Kiba asked

"Well, I saw them running through the crowd, spreading their youth an hour ago"

"And I saw a hundred Naruto's running towards that hill" Choji said as he pointed to a steep, grass covered hill.

"Let's go!" Said a very enthusiastic Kiba

The group slowly but surely climbed the hill. When they made their way to the top, they were met with a surprise. Their was a fight going on between Naruto and Gaara, and surprisingly Naruto was winning. He had just punched Gaara in the face, bruising him but drawing no blood and K.O'ing him. With his last bit of energy Naruto said "It's a trap, leave" and then collapsed on the grass.

"A trap?" Tenten asked but then whimpered when she felt the cold metal of a kunai pressed against her throat.

"Yeah a trap" Said an unknown male voice

Japanese Translations

Baka- Idiot

Jutsu- Technique

Taijutsu- Hand to hand combat(Body Technique)


	7. A Captor's Clause

_**Chapter 7-The Captor's Clause**_

A/n: Sorry for the lack of updates but I'm trying to get the hang of writing and rewrite previous chapters.

This chapter is dedicated to fangirls

"A trap?" Tenten asked but then whimpered when she felt the cold metal of a kunai pressed against her throat.

"Yeah a trap" Said an unknown male voice "Make any sudden movements and kiss Tenten goodbye"

'What should I do? What should I do? This-this guy look s-serious , so I guess there's only one thing I can do...' Tenten frantically thought.

Everyone gasped as Tenten's captor fell backward with Tenten still in hand. Now being 20 feet away from Tenten and her captor, (some of) the Konohites took this as a sign that that she was putting up a struggle and started yelling words of encouragement at the unconscious Tenten.

"Ganbatte Tenten!"Screamed Lee

"Give him the ol' 1,2!" Yelled Kiba.

These outbursts continued until finally Shikamaru said "Bakas, way to blow out my freaking fainted, but even if she was conscious, she wouldn't be able to hear you two since the wind is blowing your voices back to Konoha". Give or take a few obscenities...

Kiba blushed "And what did you expect us to do, stand here and watch them."

"Yeah"

"Are you serious!?"

Shino placed a hand on Kiba's shoulder, which was immediately shook off. But this didn't faze Shino since he repeated the action, this time Kiba didn't shake him off.

"Shikamaru doesn't joke, babe"

Kiba shuddered at the word babe and lost his footing, causing him to fall. Instead of hitting the hard ground Kiba felt soft warm hands catch him. Kiba didn't even bother to look back because he already knew who caught him.

"Er, thanks" Said Kiba awkwardly.

Shino nodded in acceptance.

"Can you let go of me now..."

Shino nodded and let Kiba go.

"Don't they make a cute couple" Sakura whispered to Ino

"Yeah, reminds me of when we first started going out"

"I heard that!" Kiba yelled to Ino and Sakura, and so the fighting commenced

Choji , who was the only one heeding Tenten, choked on his bbq chips from what he was seeing.

"They're- getting- away." He said in between coughs

"What should we do, genius?" Kiba asked Shikamaru

"We let them go"

"WHAT!?" Everyone except Shikamru asked/yelled in unison.

XxX

Back in Suna, Kankuro had just stepped foot through the door, carrying Tenten and Gaara with him. Temari who was painting her nails momentarily stopped and lazily glanced at Kankuro.

"What did you do to her" Temari asked

"I just threatened her life and she fainted, women" he sighed "Don't you wanna know about Gaara?"

"You dobe , do I have to personally teach you how to romance women and I already know about Gaara..."

"How" Asked Kankuro

Temari motioned towards a giant sand eye shaped tv in the corner of the room showing Gaara's whereabout's..

Kankuro smacked his hand against his head. "How did I miss that?" He asked rhetorically.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Temari asked

"I can't tell right now, but that Uzumaki kid definitely had an impact on him."

"Did you just make a pun?" Temari asked skeptically.

"And if I did?"

Temari put her nail polish down and walked to Kankuro.

"We should put them in bed"

"Yeah"

A few hours later

Tenten slowly opened her eyes. She didn't remember what happened or how she got here. This was definitely not her room and as she later found out not even her city.

"Where the hell am I?" Tenten asked herself

"You're in my city, Suna" A disembodied voice said.

"W-what , how d-did I g-get here?"

"I brought you here because..."

Tenten waited impatiently for the rest of the sentence but it couldn't be heard over Tenten's scream. A guy had just stepped out of the shadows, he had purple paint on his face, eyeliner on his pale skin and he was wearing all black, with cat ears on his hoodie. This guy looked familiar, really familiar.

"W-why did you bring me here?"

"Because I want you as my wife"

Japanese Translations

Ganbatte - You can do it, Keep going

Baka - Idiot

Dobe - Dumbass


	8. Will You Be My Lamb?

_**Chapter 7- Will You Be My Lamb**__?_

A/N- Sorry for the long delay but i'm lazy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Scilence of the Lambs

"W-why did you bring me here?"

"Because I want you as my wife"

XxX

Tenten gasped. How could some stranger want to marry her? Was this guy sick in the head or something. And why did that smug look never leave his face?

"Why are you so shocked?" Asked the mystery guy

Tenten opened and closed her mouth several times in attempts to articulate her thoughts but the words didn't come out so instead she just pouted. The mystery guy smiled and kneeled beside her.

"Just as cute as I remember you" He chuckled

"... But who are you?"

He sighed " Tenten, I am...your father."

Tenten growled and threw a kunai that narrowly missed the trickster.

"No, seriously."

"I see you don't appreciate my since of humor. But anyway I'm Kankuro"

Tenten instantly brightened up. "Is it-is it really you?"

"Yep, maybe I should of took off the make-up before you woke up" Kankuro said as he scratched the back of his head. Tenten took this time to pounce on the unsuspecting Kankuro.

"Kanky-kun!" She squealed

"Enough with the chit-chat." He continued "How many drinks do I have to put in you for you to bear my children? "

XxX

In Konoha a certain knuckle head blonde was awaking from his slumber. Said blonde opened his eyes but immediately closed them due to the extreme brightness.

"You want me to close the blinds?"

"Yeah, that would be nice" Naruto said as he ground the sleep out of his eyes.

Naruto yawned, not yet processing the fact that someone else was in the room until a shriek could was heard. Abruptly he opened his eyes and innately reached for his swiss army knife but doh'd when he remembered that it was in his pants.

"H-Haru, is that you? Naruto questioned

"Yeah"

Naruto grinned "How did you know I was in the hospital?"

"Your girlfriend told me a few days ago after track practice." Haru stated

"Oh, so you brought me chocolates or what?"

"Actually" Haru walked over to Naruto's bedside "I have something even better"

Naruto looked perplexed thinking about what could be better than chocolates but before he could voice his question, Haru slipped something in his hand. Naruto looked down at the contents in his hand and grinned.

"Speed, thanks dude!I owe you one." Naruto exclaimed

"Don't worry I know how you can pay me back...."

XxX

Choji and Shikamaru were walking home, exhausted after another long day of searching for Tenten. Both would of called it quits a long time ago if it hadn't have been for the obnoxious presence of Lee telling them "Youthful disciples do not quit!" or "We must find Tenten so we can bask in our youth!" and other phrases like that. But no one could really blame them for wanting to quit(except Rock Lee) since they had no new leads or clues as to her whereabouts.

"You sure you don't wanna spend the night over again. It must get pretty lonely at your place since your parents are away"

Choji shrugged "It's okay and besides I have a few things that I have to do"

They both stopped walking.

"Well, i'll see you tomorrow." Choji said as he started walking to his left.

"Bye, call me if you need me!" Shikamaru yelled in his half assed way and started walking in the opposite direction of Choji.

_At Choji's place_

Choji was currently pacing back and forth waiting for his diet pills to kick in.

"5 minutes my ass, it's been 10 and my appetite still hasn't gone away!"

Choji picked up the box that contained the pills and carefully re-read the instructions.

"Results vary from person to person, you trying to say i'm a fat ass too!" He yelled as he threw the box at the wall.

Choji sulked on his bed, thinking about other solutions for his weight problem when a light bulb popped up over his head.

"Maybe I should try something different for once" Choji said as he slowly slid a finger down his throat.

XxX

Sasuke was in the living room of his lonely Uchiha mansion. He was wearing a bathrobe and a long curly brunette wig. The eccentric Uchiha was watching The Silence of the Lambs with a random fangirl he picked up off the street. Currently the fangirl, Megumi was lying in an imaginary well. Sasuke tossed a bottle of lotion at her.

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin. It does whatever it is told."

"Mister... my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're askin' for, they pay it. " Megumi pleaded

" It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. "

"Are you done yet Sasy-kun? This is starting to creep me out" Megumi said out of character

"Fine, you may leave my manor" He stated

"But you said that if I acted out this scene with you, you would be my sex slave for a day! "

Sasuke opened the door and then pushed her outside. "I lied".

In his room

Sasuke was dancing in front of his mirror but unbeknownst to him he was being recorded on Kiba's camcorder. Sasuke undid the belt on his bathrobe.

"I'm a sexy beast" He said while looking at his reflection. Kiba couldn't help but laugh at Sasuke's sasukeness. Fortunately Sasuke couldn't hear Kiba's laugh over the music that he was blasting.

Sasuke picked up some chap stick off his dresser and started putting it on his lips.

"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard" Sasuke said to the mirror.

Kiba pressed Stop on his camcorder and smirked "Payback is gonna be a bitch Sasugay-chan"


	9. Consequences

**Chapter 8- Consequences**

AN- I'm done rewriting the story. I hope you guys like it more.

Disclaimer- This fanfic contains Sasuke bashing, yuri and possibly yaoi. And I do not own Naruto.

_"Who?" Asked Tsunade_

_"Uzumaki Naruto and Inuzuka Kiba"_

_Tsunade's smile faltered "Thank you, you are dismissed"_

XxX

Tsunade downed her fifth bottle of sake. Things just weren't going for her lately. Shizune quit, Jiraiya left her for someone younger and now she had to suspend her godson Naruto and his dog obsessed friend. Tsunade heavily sighed as she prepared to do the morning announcements.

"Good Morning Ho Shindou students and welcome to another academic filled day of school. Sports wise our high won the basketball match against Raikudaki High which places us as number 5 in the country! Happy birthday to Konohamaru Saru and Rei Inoue who celebrate their birthdays today. The elnglish club and track team will be meeting today. And will Naruto Uzumaki and Kiba Inuzuka report to my office directly after announcements. Thank you and have a great day."

_In homeroom_

"...And will Naruto Uzumaki and Kiba Inuzuka report to my office directly after announcements..."

After hearing their names Kiba and Naruto stopped their conversation and looked questionably at each other.

"What did you do?" Kiba asked

Naruto shrugged "I was just about to ask you that"

"You two are too troublesome to be around" Shikamaru muttered

"What did you say, pineapple head?" Kiba an Naruto asked in unison

_Tsunade's office_

Tsunade was swing back in forth in her chair, a nervous habit of hers. Tsunade slipped a hand into her drawer feeling for a bottle of sake but she cursed when she realized that she was fresh out, it was Shizune's job to refill her vice. Before she had anytime to look back into reverence there were 3 loud, obnoxious knocks at her door, Naruto.

"Come in" She ordered

The door opened and in walked in Naruto and Kiba smiling uneasily.

"What is it, baa-chan" Naruto asked

Tsunade sighed "I was told by a reliable source that you two are the culprits of the bathroom stink bombing incident that happened 2 weeks ago."

Kiba and Naruto quickly exchanged glances. "Yeah, we did but-" Naruto cut Kiba off "No we didn't, your source obviously isn't very reliable.

"Can I talk to Naruto for a minute?" Kiba asked

Tsunade shrugged in response. Kiba grabbed Naruto by the arm and pulled him to a corner,not an emo corner but a corner where Tsunade couldn't hear them whispering.

"Dude I can't lie to the principle. If my Mom finds out I'll be wishing I was dead" Kiba said as loud as he could in a whisper

"Yeah but you don't know how many time I lied to baa-chan already and got away with it"

"1. She's **your** godmother and 2. There's something different about her today. It looks like we're really in trouble and lying won't get us out of this one."

Naruto sucked his teeth "Fine get us both in trouble"

The two boys walked back to the very intimidating principal and took their seats once again.

"We did it Tsunade. What's your...verdict?" Naruto said with false bravado

Tsunade put her hand on her head. All of this trouble was causing her a headache and the hangover coming from all the sake she drunk earlier wasn't helping.

"You two are suspended from school indefinatly for 2 days"

"What, how can we get suspended for that!" Naruto half yelled and half asked

"Because a point was brought up about me going easy on you two..."

"But that's not true, we're practically like slaves or something" Kiba reasoned

"Boys, just because you were randomly chosen to be hall monitor for a moth doesn't count as slave work and beside that's before Sasuke volunteered to be monitor for the rest of the year"

At the mention of Sasuke's name Kiba visibly smiled in disdain. "It was him wasn't it, wasn't it."

Tsunade faltered "I-I can't reveal classified information"

XxX

"Enough with the chit-chat." He continued "How many drinks do I have to put in you for you to bear my children? "

Tenten was taken aback by Kankuro's comment. Set aside the vulgarity of it, no one had ever asked her to have his children before. How should she respond. _Smack_

Kankuro started rubbing his cheek "Ow, whud'ya slap me for?"

"Hmm, let me see hear, I slapped you because of your comment"

"Hey that comment was gold. It took me three hours just to come up with it." Kankuro said

Tenten got up from the bed she was resting on and statrted playing with Knakuro's cat ears.

"I'm hungry" Tenten announced as her stomach growled.

Kankuro grabbed Tenten's hand and guided her out of the bedroom. "This is great chance for you to meet everyone"

"At dinner?" Tenten questioned

"Yeah, besides they're already here"

" Where, I don't see them"

"Sitting on the couch, right there" Kankuro said as he pointes to a lush oval couch that was sand colored. No wonder Tenten hadn't seen them they practically blended in with the background. A girl with blonde hair styled into 4 pigtails that looked around 19 was stitting at the left end of the couch texting someone on her sidekick. A boy with auburn colored hair and green eyes that looked to be 16 was sitting on the opposite end of the couch staring at them.

"The emo looking one with the kanji of love tattoo'd on his forehead is my little bro Gaara and the one that is ignoring us is my big sis Temari"

" Hi, nice to meet you bothe my name is Amokou Tenten" She bowed

Gaara now focused his staring on Tenten "Is this the girl?" Gaara asked without taking his eyes off her.

XxX

Sasuke was in Physics gazing out the window since he was done with all his classwork, anticipating the end of the day announcements. Ever since he woke up this morning he had a bad feeling about today. Sasuke tried to shrug this feeling off by keeping busy but it wasn't working.

_Ding_, the bell signaling the announcements sounded, Sasuke gulped.

"Konichiwa Ho Shindou High" a voice other than Lady Tsunade began "Today we have a special treat for you courtesy of Sasuke Uchiha but hold your applause you can thank him later"

Simultaneously the school televisions turned on and a video started playing. An uproar broke in all the school as students(and faculty) laughed at what they were seeing Sasuke reenacting the Silence of The Lambs in drag and all. By the end of the video Sasuke had sunk so low in the chair he was sitting in that his ass was practically on the floor. Now maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if Sasuke wasn't sitting in the front of the class or if he didn't have hall monitor duty today or if everyone hadn't have had chapstick today.

Every time someone passed by Sasuke they had to bring up something about the video including asking him if he wanted chapstick, giving him a wig(wtf?) Or his favorite actually quoting him, "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard".If he heard that one more time sasuke would surely punch the person. How would Sasuke ever live this down or better you who did this to the sexy beast?

Japanese Translations

Baa-chan: Granny

Konichiwa: Good Afternoon


End file.
